There used to be a time when drunk drivers were the only dangers we had to worry about while making a “midnight munchies” run to the convenience store at 3 in the morning.
But, now we have roads and highways that are full people who think nothing of texting, eating, putting on their makeup, shaving, or hauling full-sized washers on the hood of their cars in broad daylight hours!
Welcome to the world of distracted drivers, where absolutely anything terrible you can imagine has actually already happened. Once get a load of the motorcycle cop texting on the freeway, you’ll understand why these 75 idiots should be banned from driving ever again!
1) “I’m speechless.”
@giveherthebatwing:
“Enough methamphetamine and anything is possible.”
@DarkLord84:
“I said we’re moving house in one trip, so that’s what we are doing, ok?”
@Pirate1399:
“And they moved to Beverly… Hills that is…”
2) “Caught reading a book while driving”
@moikederp:
“When that lady got home, she remarked: I saw some jackass taking pictures while driving today.”
@goclairgo:
“I had a friend that used to do that. Her excuse was that she had good peripheral vision.”
3) “75-80mph, holding a plate with a fork and knife and talking on the phone”
@tatunkawitko:
“Looks back again and they’re eating dessert.”
@ABirdOfParadise:
“The worst I’ve ever seen was a bowl of noodles on a freeway (80-100km/h Canada). Like a sandwich or fast food I get, but to make a bowl of noodles, take it with you in your car, drive thru the city to make it to the freeway and then do a bunch of turny bits with no hands made no sense.”
4) HAY buddy, watch where you’re going!
5) Tree-wheel Drive
@M O’Connell:
“This is the classic back-country fix for a broken axle, sheared wheel bearing, or lack of a spare. You strap a log between the front of the trailing arm and the lower control arm (or axle) and drive slowly and cautiously. It will last for several miles at least, and can save your life in wintertime. They clearly have a spare, and they clearly have tools, so I would assume a seized wheel bearing or some sort of differential issue.”
6) Multitasking Maniac
@anonymous:
“One unlucky gust of wind and that shoulders gonna be 50 kinda of dislocated.”
7) “My cab driver is reading “Learning to Drive”… while driving.”
@in4real:
“Makes sense. You don’t read the directions for operating the photocopier unless you are operating the photocopier.”
@SkidMark_walhberg:
“Dude, drivers manuals are obsolete. He should be watching YouTube videos while driving.”
8) What the ruff are you lookin’ at?
@Jah348:
“Dude he’s got a helmet AND goggles. Nothing could go wrong here.”
@Kamikaze_Tugboat:
“The dog’s face says it all: Help. Me.”
9) “My friend took this yesterday. Yes, that is a police officer texting while driving a motorcycle.”
@flowercup:
“Yeah, my dad is a firefighter and his whole department just received iphones to do all their bidness on, including directions to calls. I bet this cop was doing something along those lines.”
10) “Only in Vietnam”
@michaelrohansmith:
“Its far safer for the taxi driver that way.”
@sansferdinand:
“It’s true. Drivers can’t get robbed if their passenger is preoccupied with holding up a big f*cking piece of glass.”
11) Just curling her hair with both hands while going 90kph
@Hans:
“You want to look super fabulous in the coffin, doesn’t you?”
@Nancy Alborell:
“Hope she’s wearing her best underwear. EMS will be seeing it up close and personal.”
12) “Warning!”
@Symbole Simple:
“Haha! Funny! Could have been worse, could have been put on the front windscreen.”
13) “Really? Not even a helmet?”
@KallistiEngel:
“Depicted here is pretty much everything you shouldn’t do on a motorcycle short of juggling bowling balls.”
@soonerbred:
“Flip-Flops, Check. Shorty-shorts, Double-check. Headphones, Muthaflippin’ Triple-check. Looks to me like he’s missing a cup holder.”
14) Safety always comes first
@Coco:
“Why is this bad? There is another person driving the motorcycle in front of him. And plus, what’s the worst that could happen? He has a helmet…..”
15) “I have also seen a man playing the trumpet while driving”
@ouygouy2:
“‘Flight of the Bumblebee’ and 80mph down the road, don’t act like those two don’t go together.”
@sprucemoose00:
“Maybe his horn was broken?”
16) “Bungee cord would have been too much of a hassle”
@Georgio Prodoti:
“Today I learned that the bigger is the TV screen, the smaller is the brain.”
@cenkkaraferya:
“True life definition of channel surfing…”
17) “How you know they’re straight.”
@Hans:
“Straight to the cemetery.”
@ameliecourvoisier”
“Six feet underground and six feet apart… ‘Cause they’re not gay.”
18) “This gurl and her mom… filled up, got right back on the highway. Dug a groove the whole way.”
@therankin:
“Tires are just corporations selling you things you don’t need man…”
@sneakingdemise:
“Not sure if this is a bigger testament to stupidity or the safety of Subarus.”
19) “It ain’t gonna drive itself home!”
@Hans:
“Plus, he can watch himself on the news tonight. That is, if the carton will also fit into the ambulance.”
@Jeanette Gogan-Olivier:
“At least he has the lid flaps open for better aerodynamics.”
20) “Idiot of the week award goes to this lady”
@Dragon_Bagels:
“The bigger facepalm is that I thought she put bubble-bath soap in her washer reservoir…”
@_leafy_sea_dragon:
“I’m in the mid-Atlantic and every time we get snow here I see at least 2-3 people a day brake hard and dump roof snow onto their windshields. I’ve taken to just going over to the cars and sliding it off for them, like a windshield fairy on a bicycle. Also kinda fun to uncover their shocked faces from behind the sheet.”
21) “Well that’s the last time I eat spaghetti and drive.”
@Carrie de Luka:
“Surely only someone with spaghetti for brains would be so daft?”
22) How many people does this car seat?
@SykesDaMan:
“Real men do it in one trip -Part II.”
23) “5-Point Seat Belt”
@DagtheBulf:
“Way’s to decapitate yourself for 300, Alex.”
@behemothslayer:
“He was framed……ok ok I’m leaving…”
24) “When tow trucks are too expensive and a new paint and other minor repairs aren’t”
@BeardyMcBeardyBeard:
“Crack… A lot of crack.”
@pointdexter5221:
“Them ain’t “highway” miles, them’s sideway miles!”
25) “Seen this guy many times with a shoe in his mouth”
@Zenozenobee:
“I really would like to know the story about that, for I see no valid reason to drive with a shoe on your mouth.”
@Soupcat:
“I think its a type of Foot in Mouth joke…”
26) “Well secured load.”
@anonymous:
“It’s okay, they’re only giant Pez.”
@sineothetimes:
“That appears to be load bearing twine.”
27) “So this happened today.”
@beetee32:
“They are a big pain in the as to assemble/disassemble. It’s possible he’s just taking it right down the street. It doesn’t make it ok…but it’ll save him hours of time if he makes it home alive…which is good. I guess.”
28) “Who needs trunk space when you have tape”
@lYossarian:
“Who needs custom leathers and skid plateswhen you have pool noodles and an inflatable pelican?”
29) “Transporting a motorcycle on a motorcycle”
@DE Ray:
“I have a friend who has a bicycle rack on his motorcycle. Consistently goes down the highway with his and his girlfriend’s mountain bikes (she’s usually on the motorcycle with him) to ride trails.”
30) “Gotta get those eyelashes curled”
@Stephen Karp:
“And I thought I hated pot holes.”
31) “Yes, she’s eating from a pot while driving.”
@RJ BERG:
“Her version of Meals to go.”
@Jean van der Merwe:
“If all goes well, she can say she ate potluck!”
32) “Distracted driving? That’s California for you.
@pir8slife:
“Just flipping you the bird.”
@Ryo Bakura:
“Weirdest SatNav I’ve ever seen.”
33) “Do idiots on bikes count?”
@anonymous:
“You get a flat in the middle of the night and don’t have a spare. Your friend, who only has a motorcycle, comes to your rescue. I don’t see an idiot, I see a good friend.”
34) “Man driving with Sun shades on freeway.”
@tjkouris:
“You know, just today, I was wondering why there is a warning on the back of those things to not use them while driving. Now I know there is someone stupid enough for that warning to be warranted.”
@dangerousloner:
“Behind every warning label is a story. I want to know the story behind my heated metal hair straightener that reads, ‘not to be used on eye lashes.'”
35) “Are a Guitar and Microphone Distracted Driving?”
@crono3353:
“Only if he was also playing percussion and threw the drumstick at you after an awesome solo.”
@Cassduke:
“No but taking your eyes off the road to make prolonged eye contact during a solo is.”
36) “At least he won’t scratch the paint!”
@BusLady:
“How do these people get 1 mile down the road without getting pulled over by a cop?”
37) “Bruh. it’s not even strapped.”
@anonymous:
“It’s bolted to the top of the car. That’s the Texas Mother-in-law seat.”
@SilverbackRekt:
“I hope they have the sunroof and are somehow holding it through that.”
38) Idiot, or genius?
@MustangV6Premimum:
“When placing your feet down for better balance while slowing down at a traffic light this could save your shoes from scraping. Of course, you could just not scrape your shoes.”
@znaniter:
“If he gets a pillion passenger with the same equipment, he’ll be an eighteen-wheeler!”
39) “Who just starts driving like that?”
@bettsdude:
“He cleared his windows thou. So he can see forward, left and right. Not the back window. Didn’t want to see what happened when it comes off.”
@Mkwpros412:
“I’m just wondering where he got all of the snow from. If you look around there is none in sight, not even on the trees.”
40) “Knitting and Driving, with headphones on and visor and review mirrors pointed down, I suppose to help them see the knitting while looking up??”
@My O My:
“I know I shouldn’t but sometimes I do want these people to crash.”
@Kiss Army:
“Usually they don’t crash but they cause others to….”
41) “This guy is shaving while driving.”
@Nick Cicero:
“This is like a bad Allstate commercial.”
@Stephen Karp:
“What happened to your eyebrow ? I hit a pot hole…”
42) “Driving over harbour bridge, spotted this guy on his way to collect his Darwin-Award.”
@DC12V:
“I couldn’t even list the amount of unsafe loading of building material etc that I’ve seen over the years, and most of the time the driver won’t get hurt but good luck to pedestrians or motorcycle riders in front of them.”
@Hashbrown777:
“A couple months ago I saw a ute in Melbourne with a load of metal rods. He had to slam the brakes for the lights and a couple of them shot through his rear window sticking into the passenger side of the cab. He didn’t even move, just sat there as we crossed the road in front of him.”
43) “Watching a movie on an iPad behind her wheel, taking a Snapchat video on her phone, all while going 90.”
@Seafood10:
“That is when I pull up next to her and Beep. Make sure to be recording her before you beep though, don’t want to miss the mayhem!”
@Ghaleb76:
“God, how I hate people like that. Living life to its fullest, waving arms wide open and screaming to receive the Darwin Award but then, they normally just remove someone else from mankind’s gene pool by sheer stupidity.”
44) “That’s just unsafe.”
@slimthecowboy:
“Face plant=arms sheered off at the shoulders.”
@sh3ppard:
“I was thinking ‘this is probably safer than no helmet’ but this comment made me realize I’m an idiot.”
45) “Not sure which is worse, the guy transporting sheet metal on the scooter, or the unsecured load in the truck.”
@Jo Smith:
“Talk about running the gauntlet!”
46) “Just saw this on my way to work, guy had skids 15 feet in the air with 2 ratchet straps and that’s it.”
@CaptainKodah:
“That’s enough to build the entire pallet patio set from Pinterest.”
47) “Can you still see the road when half the windscreen is covered in phones?”
@tingsaisee:
“Also, don’t leave your phone in THIS taxi.”
48) “Holding the door down on an 8-lane road.”
@GeneralDisorder:
“Hmm. So I could leave my kids in the trunk… Well, I’m not telling them. Give em an inch they’ll take a mile.”
@Jagarundi:
“Flori-DUH!”
49) “Seen driving down the freeway during rush hour in Dallas”
@title9survivor:
“Jose we’re turning right! Point to the right! No! My right!”
@Joshiepoo88:
“I see you opted for the backup camera on your Forte.”
50)
@Wiggity:
“It’s OK to love your saxophone, but it’s not OK to LLLLOOOOVVVVEEEE your saxophone.”
51) “Snapchatting while driving 40 mph (photo taken by a passenger of my car)”
@TacoDoc:
“From the looks of her front left quarter panel, she’s played some bumper cars before.”
@Narunaru:
“This whole post really shows why we need self-driving cars.”
52) “Hey don’t worry about securing that giant TV with a big rope because, I got this!”
53) “She drove like this for a solid 30 miles…”
@anonymous:
“The foot blocking the mirror subsequently explains the dent in the bumper.”
ToBeReadOutLoud:
“It’s surprisingly comfortable, actually. Having your knee go through your face if you get in a crash is not comfortable, though.”
54) “Woman caught applying makeup while driving down a busy road with a child in the back of car”
55) “How to get decapitated”
@sebdd1983:
“Aaaaah Vietnam”
@plipyplop:
“I want to visit, but I’m afraid I don’t know how to cross the street. Or if it’s even possible.”
@anonymous:
“…you risk your life just walking down the sidewalk. You could end up hanging from the cables hanging just 5.5 feet above the ground or be ran over by a motorbike.”
56) “This guy just PASSED me…. Raleigh, NC”
@CrackyJsquirrel:
“Some people give up before even trying. This person said f*ck that, I can dream it, I can do it.”
@illuminutcase:
“I just bought a refrigerator off of craigslist. I had to give the guy an extra $10 to deliver it. Now I feel like maybe I should have just tried to shove it into the trunk of my Mustang. What a waste of $10.”
@caddyhoff:
“Move over a**hole I’ve got refrigeratin’ to do!”
57) “This guy is playing his guitar while he’s driving”
@Miss Cris:
“Now I’d like to meet all the musician-drivers together.”
@WingedPug:
“A moving band! Playing, wherever the road takes them!”
@Mademoiselle Garage:
“Like the grave?”
58) “Distracted drivers are everywhere, but when on the roads in LA you have to step it up.”
59) “Driving as an intellectual”
60) “One wrong bump and this could be catastrophic”
@GuythrustDeepwood:
“Here in Australia they’ll pull you over if your engine is noticeably modded. This sh*t would almost get you shot.”
@derfdog:
“Let us band together, and liberate the bike; we can then share it, and use it for majestic reddit adventures!”
61) “Smooth sailing ahead”
@KrlosParra:
“I love when they have the “not responsible for broken windshields” stickers.”
@kitundu:
“My dad frequently drives a dump truck. Apparently those stickers are literally just to scare people off from suing the company when their cars are damaged. They are absolutely responsible, especially if the load is improperly secured.”
62) “The picture’s not great, but she’s looking at a phone in her right hand… and that’s not a cupholder”
@iggypop19:
“Gotta love these dog owners who allegedly love their pets so much that they let the loose in the car while driving at fast speeds. Usually while the owner texts and drives while holding a coffee in the other hand like this chick.”
@cheeseandzakaroni:
“The dog’s like, you seeing this shit?”
63) “Must be that new x-ray windshield”
@Decwyd:
“People in SUV’s are the worst. Many of them are too short to clear the snow off their roofs so they just say fuck it rather than get a ladder and clear it off. Police in my town posted a couple years back that they are starting to fine everyone they see with snow on their roofs and the following year they said they made an additional $37,000 from fines doing so.”
64) It’s crossword puzzle time!
@Wil Vanderjeijiden:
“S.H.!.T.H.E.A.D. No, that’s eight letters.”
@Sophia Cai:
“SO DEAD”
@Mademoiselle Mirage:
“I would take a guess and say… STUPID! By for real how stupid can you be to do this?!”
65) “Does this count?”
@MadeWithClay96:
“That’s how you know if it’s an automatic.”
@eVarto:
“I almost regret getting a manual since I can’t really dangle my foot out if the doors are off. Almost.”
@Letibleu:
“Everyone is so mean. If you look closely, she was born with with a deformity due to her mom being exposed to RoundUp while pregnant. Her left hand looks like a foot. Not her fault.”
66) “This guy watching “the office” on his laptop while driving”
@anonymous:
“When you gotta watch The Office you gotta watch The Office.”
@brock_lee:
“What better way to prepare for the big meeting he’s heading to?”
67) “Saw this over the weekend. Moving a couple mattresses.”
@no-spoilers:
“If they slam on the brakes, he’s gonna bend like he didn’t know he could.”
@hillbillyheroine”
“My neighbor died this way. Wind picked up the mattress like a sail and sent him flying into the middle of the highway. It was really sad, but I’ll always wonder why the f*ck he thought it was a good idea to begin with.”
68) “Medieval jousting fan in Athens, Greece.”
@ColossalDickNozzle:
“What if he leans to the right for a turn?”
@SlightlyLessHairyApe:
“3 lefts make a right!”
69) “Was going 60mph down the highway, hold downs seem legit”
@gerry2stitch:
“Gonna be worse for whoever he spears when he hits the brakes.”
@anonymous:
“Twine? Anchored to the mirrors? F*ck’s sake, that’s advanced level stupid.”
70) “Nah, we don’t need to rent a truck, I’ll just stand on the edge and hold it.”
71) “No hands, “driving” in the fast lane.”
@ArchaicNightmare:
“Jesus is driving for her.”
@erkaaj:
“Don’t need a license when you have prayer.”
72) “Why bother tieing this sheet of wood down when we can just hold it on the roof.”
@multisubcultural1:
“In all fairness, they’re probably going home to make spoilers for their cars.”
@FittedE:
“Just imagine all the splinters they would get if that car stopped suddenly. Makes my skin crawl.”
73) “The roads of the Amalfi Coast are especially winding, narrow and congested.”
74) “It’s okay guys, I just have a couple miles to drive.”
@Andrej Troha:
“Instead of Honda, it should be an Impala.”
@Andrew Zou:
“Er. This person would be in a sticky situation soon.”
@bran1991:
“I’ve heard of ultimate frisbee…but ultimate jousting? I’m intrigued.”
75) “I guess we just watch episodes of Friends from our driver’s seat now.”
@Enchanter45350:
“That’s why my windows are tinted.”
@anonymous:
“Could you BE a more dangerous driver?” laugh track“
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