Back when we were middle schoolers, our musical abilities drew the line at playing the recorder. Sure, there was that one person who could play Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars” on the guitar, but for the most part, we were only capable of the most basic breathing and finger-pressing requirements.
But for a select few at the China Spring School in Texas, playing the recorder is far beyond their skillset. These girls and boys prefer banging the drums and playing the trombone in their band, and their performances are always impressive.
One particular video has caught the eyes of the YouTube audience more than most. Shared in September 2018, the performance in question took place at a game between the China Spring Cougars and their competition, the Addison Christian Academy Trojans.
According to the caption of the video, the Cougars won the game 13-10 – but if we were in the audience, we’d be more interested in their supporting band than the players themselves.
The interesting thing about the group’s “suicide routine” is that there isn’t actually any playing involved. We’re sure the schoolkids made use of their instruments at some point in the evening, but in this clip, they have a far less traditional purpose for them… and the word “suicide” quickly begins to make sense.
As the video begins, we can see a line of boys and a girl standing with their trombones in hand. Behind them is a line of drummers, and one of the girls counts them in.
The drummers begin to tap a steady rhythm, and the group with the trombones come alive, nodding their heads and moving their bodies to the music. Then, in one fast movement, they lift their trombones to their mouths, and it seems as if they’re about to play.
But before we can even register it, the trombonists have broken into an oddly effective dance routine, for want of a better word.
To every beat of the drum, each person in the line points their trombone in a different direction. In some cases, this means pointing their trombone exactly where the head of their next-door neighbor should have been… except the neighbor in question had ducked down just in time.
For a few seconds, the trombonists move almost too quickly to keep up with, turning left or right with their trombones, or ducking down to avoid a trombone beheading. It’s a complex routine, and messing up or even falling a second out of time would result in a certain knock-out. But the band must have had plenty of practice, as they pull off the sequence perfectly.
After a few seconds to get their breath back, the drums kick in again, and this time, the routine is even more complex. The group begin to jump and spin in circles, again, only just avoiding knocking each other out.
Just when it seems impossible to top their previous performances, the kids manage it. The drums speed up, and they repeat their sequence from the first time round at twice the speed. Their trombones move so fast they’re almost blurred.
We can’t imagine how the band managed to practice for such an impressive show without serious injury. Perhaps they started with foam versions of their real instruments. Or perhaps these kids are all simply legends and picked up the routine straight away.
The band unsurprisingly shot to YouTube fame, with nearly 3.5 million views and hundreds of comments, many of them amusing. One person wrote:
“They’re really good because only the best ones survived training. Everyone else was beheaded.”
Someone else added:
“Imagine coming home and trying to explain why your trombone is bent in half.”
Both very valid points, but these kids definitely look like they’re confident enough to pull off their stunts for the time being! You can check out the video of the “suicide routine” below – if you can bear to watch…
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